My church is trying to kill me!

So, by the by, our Beloved Senior Pastor died. Just a few hours after my committee had held a meeting in his office, at which I was sitting right next to him. That totally sucked. And our previous Associate Pastor came back to lead the memorial service, which was beautiful, but then totally sucked to see her leave again. Our BSP was less than 2 years from retiring, and had recently built his first house ever that was his own and not a parsonage, where he and his wife were going to live out their days in retirement. So sad. And our hearts ache all around.

What have I been up to lately? Here's a copy, more or less, of my report to our Church Council tonight:

1. Interim Pastor coming; he'll start this Sunday (7/23), commuting from south of Tulsa. (Except I already made a special appearance at both services yesterday to announce this, so this part isn't news.) This action only required two meetings and three sets of phone calls. We're offering $X salary, but we're not 100% certain that he'll take it. After all, have you seen the price of gas lately? I move that the Council/charge conference (just what is the difference, anyway?) approve this salary for IP anyway. (Motion carries.)

2. Associate Pastor is leaving. Cat is out of the bag now; this cat's been angry for months. Actually what I said was "The Bishop has contacted us and informed us that AP is to be reappointed elsewhere by the end of the month." Boy was that some spin. ... This part of the report did generate some questions, most of which went unasked. And the ones that did get a voice were met by our fearless District Superintendent rather than my gutless self. To which I give a big AMEN! ... Will have a farewell reception for AP next Sunday (7/30); question of the moment is do we have a simultaneous meet-and-greet with the new IP? Answer is probably yes. Oh wait, who's responsible for planning these receptions? That would be my committee. Thank Heaven for the woman who suggested an ALOHA, meaning hello and goodbye. Someone help me refrain from getting all our ministers lei'd.

(Hold that thought. Please come back and ask me what I'm doing with the rest of my day on 7/30.)

3. Remember that AP has been standing in as our youth director since our YD departed in February. Not to worry! Newcomer to our staff, current director of children's/youth music, who (by the way) recently assumed the responsibilities of Children's Ministries. will now be our (you guessed it) IYD, interim youth director. Comment from the crowd to IYD: Young lady, you've got a lot on your plate. Yes, I know! We're on it! I don't want any of our staff to be overworked, either. But an IYD on the staff is better than 2 YD out in the bush. Ah, proverbs.

4. This one's a bit anti-climactic at this point, but just for the record: On Sunday 7/23, this Sunday, when we start with our new IP after 3 weeks of stand-ins since our BSP died, we also start with a new organist!!! In fact, hiring him was the last action taken by my committee before BSP died. For reasons that aren't known by me at all (honest!) our fabulous gay organist decided to move to Connecticut. By my book, he was great, and the new guy will also be great, and our music will continue to be great, so really, it's all good. I mean great.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Gosh, I'm sorry, was I still speaking? That's got to be all. This is surely as much as one SAHM being driven insane by her Big and Busy children in the 100-degree heat could handle, right?


Let's get back to the question: CMG, what are you doing with the rest of your day on 7/30?



Kicking off Vacation Bible School, of course. Because the CMG would be the perfect candidate to lead VBS in our ailing church. You know, because she's not doing much these days. F*ucking slacker.

signed,
this is a stickup - hand over all your Prozac!