Thursday, January 19, 2006

Caution! Thoughts in progress

Blech, my mind is a mess right now. My heart is really hurting over how much I've yelled at my kids in the past few days. And sworn and given time-outs and then been enraged when said time-outs were met with cheerful resistance. Maybe the hormones really are messing me up. But why did it have to be THIS WEEK, of all weeks, that my friend Slacker would post about her IUD experience? I think I'm destined to rely on abstinence for the rest of my fertile years.

Along with friends, I'm in a parenting class right now. Approaching life from a paradigm of Love and Logic shouldn't be so hard, right? But I am drowning in ineptitude here. Nothing is working. Nobody is taking me seriously. I am antsy and irritated all the time from having my husband and mother watching me curiously to see what I'll do, trying to take cues from me. Plus feeling monstrously guilty for all the shouting and huffing and puffing I did when they weren't home. All I've managed to do is scare Big and take half her toys away. I understand the concepts, but putting them into practice is all Greek to me. JenH, if you're reading this, please send me pointers! Having to deal with two kids at once, at these particular ages (that's 4 and 1.5, for those not keeping track) is just killing me. And our relationship.

Blech. Just a suck-mom kind of week. KDK, please skip over this post in favor of the next one. I really DO love my kids.

1 comment:

gretchen said...

Oiy. I was having one of those weekends (J was out of town since Fri eve), and I hate to say it's actually a relief reading that someone else isn't having the easiest of times. Why does that make it better? I truly feel for you, knowing that my troubles are only half of yours. Hang in there. You're doing a great job, and don't doubt it for a minute. And btw, while L and L maybe be logical, I don't think it's always easy. And I'm the Warning Queen the last few days. Ugh!